~ellutzab

Emanuela Pascari

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Devious Journal Entry

Tue Mar 11, 2008, 6:14 AM

I'm not the "que sera sera" type of girl. I make plans, and I try my best to stick to them.
Not now. I have no plan. I don't know. I do wish, but I do not know. I wish I could rewind, I wish I could press the fast forward button... I wish I could press the stop button. I wish I could at least pause it for a while. I can't.
There's too many "he"s in my life - the he i love, the he i hate, the he i miss, the he who misses me, the he who doesn't care, the he who cares too much, the he who pretends everything is alright and the he who claims nothing is right. And because of all these, I can't make plans. They are too good at ruining them for me.
So I make wishes. Many small wishes, one big wish.
This big wish refers to my grandpa. I'm not superstitious, not this time, so I write my wish out loud: i wish he was in good health. I really do. 'Cause I don't like thinking "Que sera sera" when it comes to him.

7 Comments

Mood: Worried
Listening to: Pink Martini
Reading: Destinatar - Expeditor

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~lorddarq Mar 11, 2008, 6:24:29 AM

momentan si eu trec printr-o perioada dificila, insa tot ce pot sa iti spun e ca trebuie sa induram, atata timp cat traim... alt sfat nu iti pot da pt ca eu insumi am nevoie de sfaturi la capitolul viitor, alegeri, etc. si crede-ma ca timpul nu ne iarta deloc.. de asta ne roade pe dinauntru ca nu il putem controla... sa il dam mai incet sau mai repede in fuctie de lucririle bune sau rele care se vor intampla.

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~thesundiver Mar 11, 2008, 1:14:23 PM

oh, and us she's are sticking holily to your plan. like, we are sooo predictible that nothing spontaneus ever happens to spoil a perfectly planned day. like you would have such a thing anyway. and what, you'd rather spend a day with those... stupid, sweaty, rough hunks of meat, than with us? that's great, that's just great. we, like, allways thought you were the black sheep of the club... but, uh, never thought you'd go so far as to stab your own loyal girlfriends in the back. and after all we did for you!
_{come on girls, we're leaving!}

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~ellutzab Mar 12, 2008, 5:24:47 AM

you girls should check out those high heels you're wearing, i think they're like broken or something, i mean come on, it's like they don't make any sound. It's like wrong, you know? Cause I had no idea you were anywhere around. Like I could hear the "he"'s heavy breathing, but like no sound from you, so i just like assumed you were not here... you know?

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_{And everything depends upon how near you sleep to me
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~ellutzab Mar 12, 2008, 5:25:20 AM

Nu cautam sfaturi. Cautam doar sa ma descarc un pic. Thanks

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_{And everything depends upon how near you sleep to me
Leonard Cohen}

~Gremlina Mar 14, 2008, 3:24:15 PM

e ciudat ca ne simtim la fel de multe ori - citindu-ti jurnalul imi dau seama de asta.
nu mereu comentez, insa e amuzanto-ironica situatia. same here, same he's, same denial of the "que sera sera" thingie, si totusi, tot asa ajung...sa plutesc pana se rezolva de la sine niste chestii. anyways.
hugs din bv

succes si tie, si mie, si lor, si cui mai are nevoie.

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~ellutzab Mar 15, 2008, 1:09:48 AM

I know. Bine ar fi sa fiu eu singura in situatia asta, atunci macar m-as lauda ca-s originala

Hugs back to bv. god i miss it.
I'm getting over stuff. learning how to ignore the life passing by, again. I think I'm lucky to be one of those who manage to play pretend.

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_{And everything depends upon how near you sleep to me
Leonard Cohen}